Am I Wrong? For thinking out the box from where I stand?

My heart pounds for the response to my proposal; a hope, a doubt, a suspicion. Love belongs in my heart, romance tears in my eyes as my thoughts hiss and spit on my scalp. The sun calls me to her lightened world. Be happy, it’s you I love, perfect woman, Greek goddess my own. Am I in love? Still no response; a fear, a disbelief, a concern.

 

Am I wrong for thinking that we could be something for real? For hoping we could bring new souls to this universe. For thinking of a vision, trying to reach the things that I can’t see, eagerly anticipating the response to my proposal. I am not trying to do what everybody else is doing so here I come with a shield for a heart and a sword for a tongue. I stare in the mirror, love gone bad.

 

Christmas Eve, long queues for Christmas shopping, Christmas music playing on the streets of New York, Christmas ornaments attached to street lights. Thinking this is the perfect time to propose, calling the people of New York for attention, bending down on one knee looking at her beautiful face, window shoppers gathering together as the music stopped playing as an awkward silence gradually hurdled the streets of New York awaiting my proposal. Looking into her gorgeous eyes, looking for a hint, lifting her hand and saying ‘will you marry me’ and she nodding no as a round of silence gathered around the streets of New York. Before her answer, I felt the most lucky man in the world and the love I had for her was true love. I felt deeply about her and I wanted hold her so tight and make sure she’s mine for ever.  This was the first woman I had strong emotions for and she broke my heart in a second.

 

Awaiting a new day, gazing out to the distant horizon,watching the sunset, having thoughts on what might have been, I imagined the many anniversaries, our children’s graduation day I missed. it seemed to me that life was straight forward. I thought I had been fortunate to plan my life at a young age.

 

She looked like the complete package. Her beautiful brown hair, her sparkling brown eyes. Her eyes made a special connection as they showed love. Her teeth were glowing and her smile was beautiful. I realised today that I was meeting Jane. Jane was someone that I had a close relationship with and I felt she was the best person to recount the situation with.To plan your future at such an early stage but then realise you suffered a major setback is tragic. Meeting the woman of my dreams, but failing to make her my wife, is surely a pastime that shall play and bitter my mind. In former times, my Greek Goddess was the first woman I had strong emotions for, to marry your first love is special, unfortunately life doesn’t always plan out as you first excepted.